Privacy Policy

The Honest Truth

Welcome to DramaFund.ing, where we don't actually care about your data. Not because we're ethical (though we are), but because we're lazy.

By reading this page, you acknowledge that you accept everything we say. You have no rights. You read, you leave. That's the deal. We're not storing who you are because we couldn't tell you apart anyway.

What We Track (Kaunta Analytics)

We use Kaunta, a privacy-first analytics tool built by Seuros. You can verify what it does by checking the source code at github.com/seuros/kaunta.

Kaunta collects:

• Page views (which drama you're reading)
• Basic browser info (because it helps us understand if you're using IE5)
• Referrer source (how you found us, probably Reddit or Twitter)
• Approximate location (country-level, not your home address)
• Session duration (how long you spent reading about open-source drama)

No cookies. No tracking pixels. No fingerprinting. No selling your data to the highest bidder. We're not monsters, we're just lazy.

Data Retention: We Forget

We don't keep your data. Not because it's illegal (though some regulations demand it), but because:

1. We're too lazy to set up data storage
2. We're too lazy to maintain it
3. We're too lazy to comply with backup procedures
4. We're too lazy to justify why we need it

Kaunta stores analytics on Hetzner servers in Germany, but the data is aggregated and anonymized. You're not a person in our database. You're a data point that disappears into the void.

If you visit today, we know you were here. Tomorrow? We'll have forgotten. That's not a feature, that's our business model.

Sessions & Cookies

We don't use cookies. We don't use client-side sessions. Your browser stays clean.

But here's the thing: Kaunta does count unique visitors server-side using your IP address and browser fingerprint. If you refresh this page 100 times, we'll count 100 page views but know it's probably the same grumpy person clicking reload.

No tracking cookies. No session cookies. No authentication cookies. No "this site uses cookies" banner that you have to dismiss because we genuinely don't use them.

We just deduplicate on the server using a hash of your IP + User Agent that rotates monthly. It's privacy-first, not privacy-ignorant. We're lazy, not stupid.

GDPR, CCPA, and Other Acronyms

Your rights under GDPR:

• Right to access - We don't have your data, so good luck
• Right to deletion - Already deleted by virtue of not storing it
• Right to portability - What are you going to port? A dream?
• Right to object - Object to what? We're not doing anything
• Right to rectification - Can't correct data that doesn't exist

By reading this page, you acknowledge that you understand and accept our privacy practices. You have no further rights. You came here, you read this, you understand that we're not storing personally identifiable information about you.

If you don't like it, don't use the site. We won't miss you, and we won't remember you anyway.

Third-Party Services

We use:

• Cloudflare Pages: Our hosting provider. They see traffic but have no access to your personal data
• Kaunta (GitHub: seuros/kaunta): Our analytics provider. Privacy-first, open-source
• Cloudflare D1: Our database (if we ever store anything, which we probably won't)

These are companies we trust, or at least tolerate. We've read their privacy policies so you don't have to.

RSS Feeds

We publish RSS feeds. If you subscribe to our RSS feed, your reader will fetch the content. We don't track who subscribes. We don't know how many subscribers we have. We don't care.

Your RSS reader might track you. That's their problem, not ours.

Children's Privacy

If you're under 13, you shouldn't be reading about open-source drama. Go do your homework. We're not collecting data on you intentionally, but we're also not trying to keep you out.

Contact Us (Good Luck)

Questions about our privacy practices? Contact us at:

[email protected]

Important: If your email bounces back, it means we haven't configured MX records yet. Don't take it personally. We're lazy, remember?

If we somehow respond to your email, congratulations. You've witnessed a miracle.

Changes to This Policy

We might update this policy if we remember to. You probably won't notice because you won't receive an email (we don't have your email address, remember?).

Check back occasionally if you care. We'll update the "Last updated" date if we remember.